Furthermore…

At the Childrens Mass Father came out into the church where the children were seated to have an interactive homily, passing the microphone around so the children could answer his questions about what was in the Readings. Jesus’ Resurrection had been central to the teaching and, in fact, a giant mural depicting the Resurrection looked down from above the altar.

Father asked the kids, “What do we think about at Easter?” He was after “The Resurrection!” After all, these are Catholic kids, and the day’s teaching was about Jesus rising from the dead.

First kid: ‘The Easter Bunny!”

Next kid: “Easter Eggs!”

More kids asked. More Easter Bunny, Eggs and Basket answers.

Fr. never got his desired answer, so he had to resort to b-r-o-a-d hints until it finally dawned on one of the kids what he was hunting (not Easter Eggs). I had to admire his patience, though. I would have been a basket case. Not, not an Easter Basket!

One of my father’s stories recounted how in one of his grammar school classes there was a little girl who couldn’t stand any mention of the word “blood”, always exhibiting on its pronunciation great revulsion and loss of composure. Of course, the boys soon realized this was a perfect opportunity to generate rollicking fun, and dreamed up elaborate mental contortions in order to turn every discussion around, somehow, to exactly what she dreaded.

Scene: MagaMagazine Corporate Headquarters. News has just broken that indicates the “God People” have been right all along. The Big Kahuna  is afraid they will lose millions in sales from people ready to radically rethink what is important in life. He speaks:

“We gotta rush out a magazine for them readers that will probably go to Hell from what we told them. Sonya here has a few article title ideas 

When I stand in confession line I get to wondering what sins do women confess. It would probably go against the Seal of Confession to ask the priests, so I’ll just conjure up a few speculative possiblilities.

“I didn’t wash and replace my lace doilies this month.

“I saw a man whom I thought was looking at me lustfully and wished he would do something about it.

“I spent quite a bit of time thinking of some good things he could do.

“I saw a man looking lustfully at Molly Bloom and wished it was me instead.”