Furthermore…

One seminary official to another:

“The three most important solutions to the priest shortage are Vocations, Vocations, Vocations!”

Mom to Dad about kid standing by expectantly:

“He wants to get home schooled  — with the nudist kids down the street!”

Healthcare burocrat to person in wheelchair:

“You don’t look sick to me!”

Sign in front of church:

HELL.  YOU CAN GET THERE FROM HERE

Pastor to distraught boy:

“Jimmy, you agreement was to take your sister to the dance, and there’s no way I can have it annulled!”

Secretary to Pastor over intercom:

“There’s a salesman here for odorless, invisible incense.  He says it’s more spiritual!”

Kid to Mom, as priest gets ready to preach:

“Here comes the commercial.  Can I talk now?!”

Bumper Sticker:

ATHEISTS DON’T HAVE A PRAYER

Kid announcing his science project:

“I weighed ten of my friends before and after they went to confession to see whether they shed any weight from  removal of sins or gained any from adding of grace!”

Kind answering question:

“Who is St. Bernard? Would he be the patron saint of dogs?”