Furthermore…

Woman in strange robes welcoming new member to The Church of Acupuncture:

“First we must get you your PIN number!”

At church this morning we sang  the hymn “On Eagle’s Wings.” I have a girlfriend named Connie, who at one time worked in the media using the name ‘Dawn.’  So I sent her a playful note about the hymn.

                   “And He will raise you up on eagle’s wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.
For to His angels He’s given a command,
To guard you in all of your ways,
Upon their hands they will bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.

“Hi Luv,

“Some people never get the word, like, none of the people singing seemed to  know it’s “Connie” now, not “Dawn.” Funny the hymn would include something about anybody’s breath, tho. Go figure!

“So every time they were all singing Dawn, I was real loud and strong with Connie. They were staring at me with such looks of admiration: imagine, I was the only one in the whole church who knew it’s Connie now, not Dawn anymore. I was so proud!”

Boy to Mom:

“In choir practice Sister asked me to carry the hymn books, ’cause I can’t carry the tunes!”

I heard another one of those discussions of the sorry state of dating and the  relations between the sexes, especially of the young and the breastless (sorry) on that ‘Rock’ show on EWTN.  Again there was the assumption that the young men are driven by their hormones to act sexually, while the  sweet innocent girls are only looking for love,  the love and affection that they likely didn’t get from their clueless fathers. So the vulnerable girls  assume that the urgent advances of their boyfriends are  manifestations of  the Love which they crave, and so they willingly ‘give themselves’ up to the ravishing of the uncaring cads. After all, they’re getting LOVE,  aren’t they?

Huh? Is this a “party line”? Or is it the case that there is a rose-colored mentality which doesn’t want to attribute sensual and erotic desires to Pure Womanhood? It seems a bit contrived and simplistic.

 Do most girls really think that way? Or do they know “what it’s all about” and willingly participate in their own  quest for physical gratification corresponding to that which motivates the guys? And the “he said he loves me” bit is convenient blame shifting.  

Usher asks people entering the church:

“Close the Eyes section, or Eye the Clothes section?”

(Captionless)

As Eve converses with the serpent, Adam is watching football on TV.

Our church bulletin usually includes some ‘Questions for Reflection’ based on the Sunday readings. I often see similar questions in other publications. Some of them are questions about what Jesus meant, or why the people reacted the way they did, and I’m comfortable with them.  They don’t require soul searching,  just some thought, speculation, or opinion. It’s pretty easy to toss off a bunch of words, even if only in one’s own head, about whatever topic is addressed.

Questions of the other kind hit closer to home. They ask exactly what do I plan to do about some call to sanctity or change to my life,  or whether I have ever fallen short of what the Gospel asked of me, or maybe even “Why?”.  Yikes! Pass the Aspirin.

I don’t like examinations of conscience either!

Preacher to congregation:

“Don’t hesitate to give what you think you own to God.  Keep in mind that in fact it’s Lent.”

Scene: MagaMagazine Corporate Headquarters. News has just broken that indicates the “God People” have been right all along. The Big Kahuna  is afraid they will lose millions in sales from people ready to radically rethink what is important in life. He speaks:

“We gotta rush out a magazine for them readers that will probably go to Hell from what we told them. Sonya here has a few article title ideas